What I Wish Knew at My Birth
Trigger Warning: This blog post contains topics concerning birth trauma and medicalized birth please take discretion if these topics will impact you in a negative way.
My Birthing Journeys
I have mentioned before that my first birth was “medical” and left me sad and numb to my beautiful infant – not at all in awe of what my body had just done. By “medical” I mean I was in a hospital, with nurses who by cultural standards did their job well but I was never once asked for my approval or consent. I was alone for most of my labour, other than the required, routine checks on me and my baby. I did not have food or beverages, and was given an enema and IV with Demerol that made me sick. Neither was optional, they were just done!
On reflection, I was coping well for not knowing what was going on and being alone. I was given narcotics to “cope”, but they were not necessary and actually caused my baby to have some issues transitioning at birth. Being very young and pregnant back then almost always meant being shamed and treated with distaste for what I’d “gotten myself into”. I didn’t have options provided to me and was just expected to do as I was told.
The delivery of my son was uneventful by medical standards – the doctor did a routine episiotomy to speed things up. A conversation went on as if I wasn’t even in the room. A bet over a bottle of booze with the resident on the exact time of birth. I was in a stainless-steel room, with a big clock on the wall. The time of birth was 7:45pm, not the 5:45pm they wrote on my son’s bassinet. I, of course, was the one mistaken. This story puts a negative spin on the system, but it is true. This is why I am so passionate about you feeling supported and educated, regardless of your birthing outcome. Birth is, after all, an epic and unpredictable event.
Thankfully my other two births were empowered by informed choice, comfort measures, and human support, which allowed me to finally see the beauty in birth. Honestly, regardless of the outcome or place of birth, being included in my own care and having choices changed everything! My body produced a person, a life to be cherished! The world is asking for and creating better births. Birth matters; it is power, creation and life itself! This powerful awakening is what led me on the path to birth-work and ultimately midwifery.
After attending over 550 births as a registered primary care provider along with my personal birth experiences, what do I recommend for body, mind and spirit?
I recommend you support yourself during your experience and know it’s important and normal to need or want these relatively simple things. They were the difference between my experiences being negative or positive.
Body
Hydration and Light Meals: You need to eat and drink during labour – who will help with this?
Coping Techniques and Positions: Including breath work, labour and pushing positions – do you know your choices?
Consent: My midwife asked before she touched me! I continued this with each and every client I ever had. Is this important to you?
Flowing With What is Present: Flow – this is a big one. Allow the process; we cannot control our births. Remember there are two of you involved in the process. Are you ready?
Mind
Support People: Birth is a time in life when we need to be supported and let go of the idea of looking after others. You have no idea how you will feel or act during labout and delivery. You may be naked, moaning, and or rhythmically moving. Who are you inviting to witness this intimate experience?
Mindfulness: Thoughts become things, a focus on the light and positive can be very helpful. How will you lighten your mind?
Hypnobirthing and Meditation: Repetition, chanting or hypnosis can allow a pattern of focus. They soothe the mind and encourage it to surrender to the process. What do you think?
Shame: Allowing the shameless flow of your thoughts. Shame is a word I hear too often when talking with people about birth. Why do we need to be ashamed of? Birth is a natural experience we were designed to do. There is nothing shameful about birth – do you agree?
Spirit
Your Experience: Remember that this is your experience and yours alone. Not even your intimate partner can truly experience this as you do. What does your spirit want?
Baby: The unseen connection between you and your baby is a magical bond. Talk to your baby, ask them questions, encourage them in labour. Do you talk to your unborn baby?
All Those Before You: Thinking about the POWER and spirit of all those who have birthed before you. Those who have birthed a new person, a new beginning, a new life’s story. Is there someone special you would like to think of or be reminded of while you birth?
Power: The power to birth your child is inside you. It may be riding easily along the surface or buried deep down, but it’s there! I witnessed so many folks dig deep and find their power. What a beautiful thing to birth your baby! Have you embraced your power or could you support yourself to work towards this?
Your experience will be uniquely yours. I invite you to dive deep and imagine your best birth and allow the possibility that something different may appear – after all there are two of you involved.
With Love,
Angela
Welcome back! Our vision is to provide an informative and holistic change in the way birth is experienced by families around the world. We aim to prepare families in body, mind, and spirit for a healthy pregnancy and empowered birth experience.
